because i'm only ambitious when i'm bored

A list of things I want to do in the near future (meaning next year or two):

-See the whales in the San Juans.

-Drive down the Oregon coast to Nappa and go wine tasting.

-Visit New Orleans.

-Go camping.

-Go snowboarding.

I definitely need to start doing things around Washington, I could potentially only have one more year here. As of right now I'd opt to leave WA next year, so I better get crackin...

Currently Brenda and I are watching Henry Poole Is Here and it is BORING. Things like people seeing Jesus' face on a wall and then fixing their lives does not interest me when not done properly, apparently. Shame on you, Luke Wilson, this could have been a good movie. It is not. I blame you. YOU. I am also drinking wine. I feel it. I'm hoping it will help me sleep tonight.

Hoping, Hoping, hope, hope?

If Luke Wilson gets cured from his terminal illness in this film I will vomit all over my own living room. I swear it.

Well you wouldn't want an angel watching over you. surprise surprise they wouldn't wanna watch.

My life right now is just very up in the air. I never know who is going to be a good friend and when, I never know how much my bosses are going to like me and when, I don't know where I'll be next year, I never know when my mother will be reliable and when she won't, when my sister will be kind or when she will beat me down, I never know what kind of mood I will wake up in or what kind of dreams I will have.

I think for the most part I like this, I don't want to know what each day will bring, that's no fun. At the same time, I am constantly searching for an anchor. I try to think of grad school and stuff as my anchor....a plan that I have that will lead to happiness. But it's taking forever and in the meantime, I am just floating. It doesn't help that everyone around me seems to have something to hold them in place whether that be a loved one or just an ability to stay grounded that I lack. I wish I had that. Someone or something or just the ability. I spend most of my time fighting the urge to just pick up and leave. Leave Seattle, leave my life. Not go home, just go. The only thing that feels right is to just be moving all of the time.

I am restless.